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Advertisements of some not-so-well known products.

November 20, 2007

‘Pleasure yourself’ Advertisement.

Dinner at expensive restaurant with neighbourhood bombshell girl — 50 dollars.

Cab fare to drop her home – 10 dollars

Breath freshening mints (for that memorable goodnight kiss) – 1 dollar.

Wanking off thinking about her, in the comfort of one’s own loo – Priceless.

There are some things that money can buy. For everything else there is Masturbation.

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D’Odorant Advertisement.

Stand out in a crowd with the award-winning olfactory experience that is DeoDescartes.
Our R&D team has synthesised this unique blend after analysing the smells emanating from 10, 000 garbage dumps and sewers spanning 200 countries of the world.
Our scientists have observed the Rebound Relationship Effect (RRE) under perfect lab test conditions- A man sprayed with DeoDescartes is placed in a small room with walls made of rubber. A woman is then introduced into the room. Repeated tests confirmed what our scientists had suspected all along: the woman was repulsed by the smell and quickly proceeded to run away from the male, but in her haste crashed into the wall and bounced off it,  stumbling right into the wide-open arms of the man.

Girls generally may not be all over you. But now at least their puke is!

DeoDescartes – I stink, therefore I am. And Evolutionary Psychology can go suck an ostrich egg.

*RRE may not work in real world conditions as the walls of rooms are generally not made of rubber.

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‘Asset’ Enhancement Ad

Silly-Con Technologies is the market leader in cosmetic implants. Our expertise, in the area of integrating microprocessor technology into the implants, is second to none.
The concept is simple yet effective–The implants are pneumatic with airflow and pressure controlled by a microprocessor. These implants are designed for three anatomical locations:

The Buttocks: The benefits of possessing a wholesome posterior are quite obvious.  Apart from having the ‘usual’ features, the buttock implant automatically inflates or deflates depending on how hard or soft the seating is, thus always ensuring a very comfortable sitting experience.

The Breasts: The microprocessor controlled variability ensures, along with regulated size, much greater perkiness over static implants with the added feature of Wobble Control Technology™ (for jerky movements).

The Phallus: The implant is designed in a way that causes both latitudinal and longitudinal expansion.

Important feature: (breast and phallus implants automatically expand when the individual is going through periods of depression and low self-esteem)

Comments from some of our satisfied customers:

‘Previously I was just a clever dick. Now even my dick is clever. Thank you, Silly-Con Team!’

‘I used to be an ‘ass-iduous’ worker. But thanks to the buttock implant, now I just sit on my ass all day. It feels awesome!’

‘Photos of my young days made me miserable and nostalgic. But now that the perkiness of my t*ts has been restored, no more going down ‘mammary lane’. Ha ha. Thank you Silly-Con, you guys have done great!’

‘The other day, my girl said to me, ‘are you sure you ain’t hiding an anaconda in your loins, sweetie?’. I was so happy to hear that comment that I nearly came in my pants!! Love you Silly-Con. :)’

We at the Silly-Con team are waiting to be implanted into you today!!

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Ice Daggers for Sale.

Mean old mother-out-law fucking your happiness?
Fed up with acerbic taunts from random people?

Introducing Ice-D, the ultra-cool new product from the house of Stalac-Tight.
Drive an ice-dagger through someone’s black heart or empty space in the left side of their chest, as may be applicable to the person. Ice-D comes packed in a special wrapping that prevents melting of the product. Since our dagger is made of ice, the evidence is effectively liquidated. Now your murderous instincts get the fluidity characteristic of the human condition. So you go scot free, and no need to wipe that smile of satisfaction from your face or feign guilt even. Just chill!

Ice-D –Trust in Us. Thrust in Them.

*Ice dagger ad inspired by an old Bollywood movie, where an ice dagger was used by the murderer to cover his tracks. Thought it would be a nice tool to market ;).

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3 Comments
  1. Brinda permalink

    Hilarious stuff !

  2. rincy permalink

    wow this is funny…where did you get all these??

  3. Vinayak Kohli permalink

    Thanks. Wrote them myself :).

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