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Jack and Jill went for the kill.

September 9, 2007

Does your infant have the glint of Evil in his/her eyes sometimes? Does he/she smile while ‘virtually’ massacring video game characters? If the answer to these questions is Yes, your child could have the potential to commit heinous crimes. Why not foster their criminal talent right from infancy itself ?
Here are some nursery rhymes which have been developed by Curse-ry Rhymes™ to help bring out the beast in your kids and hopefully inspire them to reach new heights of delinquency and evil- doing. These are actually subtle modifications of some well known nursery rhymes.
We have listed only a few samples of course. We have many many more such rhymes, each one specially developed by our R&D wing for stimulating a separate area of the brain. For only $ 99.99, you will get a whole set of curse-ry rhymes which will secure your child’s future in delinquency; such a small price to pay for such a worthy cause.

As our corporate mantra 1 goes, ‘Recite every Day! Watch your child go Astray!!!’™

Corporate mantra 2 – ‘ More Rhymes mean more Crimes!’™
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Now to the rhymes…

Humped me, dumped me, sat on my balls,
Humped me, dumped me, had a great fall,
All the Kings’s horses and all the King’s men,
Couldn’t sustain erections again.

Twinkle twinkle little Porn-Star,
How I wonder what you are,
Cage-dancing in the world, and high,
Diamond studded underpants adorn the sky.
Twinkle twinkle little Porn-Star.

Baa baa black sheep, have you any Hash?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags stashed!
One for the master, one for the dame,
And one for the little boy who’s pretty lame.

Hickory dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the cock.
The cock was licked,
The mouse was double-clicked.
Hickory dickory dock.

(The next one is already pretty obscene in its original form, so we decided not to tinker too much with it)

Ding dong bell, pussy’s in the well
Who put her in? Little Johnny Flynn
Who pulled her out? Little Tommy Stout
What a naughty boy was that, try to drown poor Pussy,
Who ne’er did any harm.
But killed all the mice in the Farmer’s barn!

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Buy the complete set of curse-ry rhymes today!!

End.

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One Comment
  1. that was funny!

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