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And The Moral Of The Story Is…

July 18, 2007

Here is an ‘Aesop-type’ familiar fable that provides us with some insightful ‘morals of the story’: we find here metaphors and interpretations that, at least at first glance are unlikely to appear abstruse, cryptic or even apocryphal to the ‘untrained eye’ (and also to those who haven’t had any previous exposure to Anthropoppyological Theory). The analysis following the fable is taken from a personal diary entry of the famous Tyre manufacturer- turned -Anthropoppyologist, Michelin Foucosy.

The Ass And The Clever Crow.

Once upon a time, Ass was wandering in a forest. It was a scorching summer day and he was feeling so thirsty that he thought he would collapse any moment. Just then he caught sight of a bright object on the ground a little distance away. As he progressed further, it became increasingly clear that it was a bucket. ‘Ah, I am saved!’, thought Ass. Unfortunately his excitement was short lived. He went up to the thing and looked into it. He saw that there was some water in the huge bucket. That was great news, but the problem at hand was that the water was at a low level and he could not reach down to the level of the water, however hard he tried.
Frustrated and utterly dismayed with this situation, Ass started to slowly turn away his head as he contemplated his fate.
Crow had been quietly watching this entire episode from a tree nearby. He swooped down, collected a pebble on the ground with his beak and ever so dexterously dropped it into the bucket. Crow then spotted another pebble and as before dropped it into the bucket and continued doing so in this way. Ass watched in amazement as the water level in the bucket rose steadily with every pebble that Crow dropped into it. A little while later, the water had risen to a height sufficient for Ass’ purpose. Ass then quenched his thirst and the two parted company but not before Ass thanked Crow profusely.


1. The psychoanalysis of the Ass suggests a Paradox of Intellect. Why did Ass not solve the problem in the same way as Crow. Was it the case that Ass was basically a dullard? This is possible but there is evidence in the story to suggest quite the contrary as well: Ass was frustrated but did not show his frustration in any physical manner. He never physically kicked the bucket, plausibly because Ass was aware of the concept of a Self-fulfilling prophecy: he knew the connotations of ‘kicking the bucket’ (i.e. death), and the state of believing that he had kicked the bucket physically translated metaphysically would have by an inexorable chain of events led to him ‘kicking the bucket’, i.e. his untimely death. This suggests some foresight and wisdom on the part of Ass. Thus we have a psychoanalytic Paradox of Intellect.
(mental note: must remember to use the sexy trident in sentences (sexy trident = phenomenological , ontological & epistemological).

2. The symbol of the bucket suggests a strong human link and reminds us yet again that all the symbols here are merely metaphors used to shed light on what is essentially the human condition. Ass wandering through a forest and the mysterious appearance of the bucket highlights the absurdity of our existence. Also water being an essential component for our survival means we must learn to keep our plans ‘fluid’ when it ‘boils down’ to essential things.

Crow had highly sadistic tendencies: he undoubtedly helped Ass, but not before taking pleasure from seeing Ass agonise over his predicament. An alternative but unlikely explanation to Crow’s behaviour is that he was overly gratitude-seeking owing to a significant inferiority complex, and was by the strong possibility of getting thanked seeking validation from society.

A third possible explanation is one that no anthropoppyologist in his/her right mind can overlook. By fancy swooping manoeuvres and display of skills in pebble- collecting, he was proving his suitability as a sexual partner to Ass. Crow was therefore simply finding a release for his homoerotic fantasies.

3. The Devil lies in the details. Aaaeee-men to that Bruh-tha.

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