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Cover Letter For That Dream Job..

July 15, 2007

My Dear Recruitment Manager,

I hope this cover letter finds you in the best of health and spirits, and that you had an awesome Christmas Break. I would imagine this might not have been as chilly a Christmas in your part of the world, or perhaps it may have been even chillier than previous years. Who knows these days? Global Warming has in a convoluted sense almost infused a sense of romance and adventure in our lives. :)
Now that we have gotten over the pleasantries, let me cut to the chase.

In response to your recent advertisement, I would like to apply for the position of Junior Consultant at McKinky and Co.

I don’t know how exactly I should break this to you, but I would surmise that a direct approach would be the most appropriate in this case. The thing is, I am not what some may call your average applicant. My name is Clark Kent. You would know me better by the name of Superman.

I want to take a sabbatical from the highly stressful and physically exhausting nature of my current line of work, namely crime fighting. Also, the numerous occupational hazards associated with my work have started to take their toll on me. Imagine that you are flying home after having thwarted some maniac’s insidious plan to destroy/take over the world, and it has just struck you that the milk in the fridge must have gone bad by now. It is a thought enough to make one go absolutely potty. There is also this constant and unshakable sense of an emotional vacuum; my relationships are in a shambles thanks to this superhero stuff. And let’s not even talk about the whole controversy surrounding my choice to wear my underpants on the outside. The psychoanalyst in me does on occasion think that perhaps I have deep-seated insecurity issues, and so the underpants outside thingy may just be my way to assert my masculinity or virility and get an ego boost when others praise me or feel envy (It’s all rather phallic and for that reason,  juvenile, I admit.)  However, on the occasions that I feel good and confident about myself, I believe that this is simply a distinctive superhero identification tag. So to be honest, I’m not sure whether it’s a ‘snug’ or a ‘smug’ thing.

Why McKinky ? I guess it would now be appropriate for me to do the whole ego massaging bit and say that McKinky is a global leader in Consulting, provides a greatly rewarding career, and is an intellectually stimulating place with a socially engaging environment. Why Consulting? I think I will refrain from giving you the load-of-tripe answers you must commonly encounter — ‘passion for consulting and strategizing’, ‘ardent desire to make a difference’, (the rarely used) “ in Consulting lies the path to my inner salvation”, etc. I guess I just want to see how it feels to talk in fancy jargonistic terms, without having much insight or understanding into what they really mean, or what anything at all in general really means.

And I’m sure my super-strength, super-hearing, X-RAY vision and near invincibility would undoubtedly prove to be big assets to your firm. I could be wearing a suit with the possible embellishment of my cape, thus being a Cape of Good Hope for your firm :). Sure beats the hell out of using buzzwords like ‘innovation’, ‘entrepreneurial’, ‘diversity’ etc., don’t you think?

I do hope that you will consider my application favourably and at the earliest possible time.

Yours sincerely,

PS: Remember I have super-hearing so I do hope for your sake that I hear you laughing or at least chuckling on the ‘Cape of Good Hope’ pun otherwise it would injure my self esteem and I don’t take kindly to that at all.

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