Mine Your Language « Satire. Poetry. Human Beings

June 2009
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Mine Your Language

June 26, 2009 — Vinayak Kohli

Beefcake archaeologist discovers a big secret passage in a mine he is exploring. He sends news of this exciting discovery to his ‘rather insecure by nature’ project-director, via a mobile phone text message. Unfortunately, the poor archaeologist gets fired soon after. The reason: the text message read–’I knew it! Mine is bigger!’.

Posted in humour and satire.. Tags: archaeological joke, humor, humour, joke, mine. Leave a Comment »

Little Red Riding Hood.. November 5, 2009

Pictured here in little red dress. The reasons for this shift in Ms. Hood’s dressing style, to a markedly minimalist one, are attributed to a) her drastic reduction in wardrobe expenditure owing to cutbacks in income after the global economic recession of 2008 — this has resulted in her wearing clothes that are not [...]

Monsoon Ecstasy – V. Rao and V. Kohli. October 20, 2009

And Lo! The Curse was broken! Monsoon made peace with the lands of Delhi! The kingdom lay drenched in its delightful marvels. The sky goldened up at its edges. And there, standing by the open window, with startled raindrops in her hair and a perky rhythm up her sleeve, she said- Oh Life!! :) ***** She looked [...]

Acerbic matters August 8, 2009

Amicable coexistence of limes and lemons is difficult. This is because a lime’s relationship to a lemon is marked by sourness.

My favourite type of religion August 8, 2009

My favourite type of religion: “henotheistic”, with a good supply of chicks.

Interpretation of the Photograph – IV June 28, 2009

1) I think I’ll just chill against this ice-cushion of mine for a bit and watch some TV. 2)Can it be really true? Polar News Network says that the ice-caps are melting. Damn humans. This is hardly my idea of getting a ”warm welcome”. 3)This is what the visual representation of Tri-Polar Disorder generally looks like. 4)The world [...]

Interpretations of the Photograph – III June 26, 2009

Is that the Alaskan Oil Pipeline you are pointing at me, or am I really that attractive? Alternatively, could this be some strange pipe dream of mine?

Mine Your Language June 25, 2009

Beefcake archaeologist discovers a big secret passage in a mine he is exploring. He sends news of this exciting discovery to his ‘rather insecure by nature’ project-director, via a mobile phone text message. Unfortunately, the poor archaeologist gets fired soon after. The reason: the text message read–’I knew it! Mine is bigger! […]

Interpretations of the Photograph – II June 23, 2009

1) Jesus aint coming tonight–no matter how hard you pray Jonny. 2) If you had a piece of burning coal stuck between your hands, you would shriek too. 3) Sometimes no one want to shake our hand. In such a case, we must shake our own two hands with one another. 4) My palms have just turned into [...]

Gorilla Warfare June 21, 2009

One day, Joe (a human being) ventures into a gansta neigbourhood of gorillas (this was on the planet of the apes, just in case you are wondering). Gangsta chief, Al-gorilla, to human: ‘Sup homey-nid? You ain’t no homey either too. Watcha doon here?’ Joe had–as luck would have it–just consumed a banana, and its peel was still [.. […]

Melon-cholic Humour June 21, 2009

There was once a man who often ‘violated himself’ with a melon. After doing so, he never needed to sit in the sun to get a tan. Turns out that when he took some ‘melan in’, the act of doing so caused skin pigmentation, and that gave him a natural tan. [...]

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Satire. Poetry. Human Beings